A Time to Embrace
by heartsncrafts
Summary: Jeremy Sherwood & Amanda Holden have more than their fair share of obstacles facing their relationship: their young age, her parents, his enlistment, and a bombshell that could either tear them apart or bring them closer together. Updated Aug 11.
1. Aftermath

A/N: This picks up right after Jeremy & Amanda say goodbye after taking their relationship to the next level in the gazebo. A different look at the next episode and the storyline thereafter. 

**A Time to Embrace**  
"Aftermath"

Her eyes were still wet with tears as she quietly sneaked across the front porch to the door and withdrew her house key from the pocket of her pants. She could only hope that her parents had slept in, which was a completely off the wall hope considering they never slept past seven o'clock, but it was the only thing she had to cling to at this moment. With Jeremy gone and the reactions at home that she would have to face momentarily, she felt as if her whole world was in the process of crashing down around her.

Her key turned silently in the lock, and she pushed the door open. A cautious look around the foyer told her that no one was in immediate view, so she stepped one bare foot across the threshold, then the other, before shutting the door with the least amount of noise as possible, then turned and half-ran, half-walked toward the staircase. A sharp voice reached her ears just as she thought she was home free, and she froze in her steps.

"Amanda Marie Holden, just where have you been all night?!" demanded Claudia Joy Holden, her dark eyes flashing with fury, then with recognition as she took in the disheveled appearance of her daughter.

Amanda turned slowly, facing her mother. It was now or never. She was so tired of her parents trying to "protect" her from Jeremy. She would tell her mother the complete truth. "I've been out all night with Jeremy, having sex. And in case you haven't noticed, Mother, the love of my life has just left me, and I feel like doing nothing but dying right now, so I would really appreciate it if you would just leave me alone." Amanda's voice sounded harsh to her own ears, but after all that she had been through in the last twenty-four hours, she didn't really care.

The shock registered on Claudia Joy's face. "Amanda, honey, we really need to talk about -"

"About what? About how you and Dad pretty much made Jeremy enlist? About how you're both probably thrilled that Jeremy's hundreds of miles away, and there's a chance that I'll never see him again? Look, Mom, I really don't want to talk, especially to you or to Dad or really to anyone in this family, right now." It was all she could do to hold off her tears as she spun on her heel and ran the rest of the way to her room. She slammed the door behind her, as if punctuating what she had just said.

In the sanctuary of her room, Amanda finally let herself mourn. The tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving trails in what was left of her make-up from yesterday. Was she being absolutely stupid, one of those girls who got too attached too quickly to her boyfriend? She hoped not, and she certainly hoped that Jeremy wasn't one of those guys who didn't even think of his girlfriend after getting what he wanted. She knew Jeremy. He was probably thinking about her right that minute, thinking about what their future held in store for them.

But Amanda went back to her father's words. "He's going to hurt you, Amanda. One way or another, he's going to hurt you. Whether it be physically, like Denise, or emotionally, or both, he will hurt you. Once a man is capable of hitting his mother, he's capable of anything."

Amanda knew Jeremy and knew that her father's words were untrue. Jeremy loved her, so what if he had made a couple of mistakes in the past? He was well on his way to proving to everybody that he was a changed man, and Amanda was so proud of him, and more in love with him than she ever thought she could be. Nobody could take that away from her.

She stretched out on her bed, savoring the warmth and comfort as she did so. Now only if Jeremy was by her side, she would be the happiest girl in the world.

* * *

Downstairs, Claudia Joy was still reeling from the truths her daughter had revealed. She shook her head, grasping the banister for support, then slowly sank down onto the stairs. She cradled her head in her hands. Amanda was very headstrong, and Claudia Joy had herself mostly to blame for that - stubbornness was definitely a quality she possessed, and apparently, that had been passed onto Amanda. Most times, Claudia Joy was proud of her daughter for taking stands against things she didn't believe in and never being wishy washy on whatever beliefs she held true, but this was one of those times when she felt more disappointed than anything else. Michael had always said that Amanda's nature of rebelling against the norm would one day get her into trouble, and Claudia Joy wondered if this was the day. 

Now Claudia Joy's mind was filled with more questions than answers. How should she approach Amanda about this? Should she tell Michael? If she did, he would surely kill the boy just as soon as he got his hands on him. It was probably better that no one besides Amanda and perhaps Denise Sherwood knew where Jeremy was. The question reigning supreme was the question she was most afraid of: had the teens been careful, or did they get caught up in the heat of the moment, not thinking about the consequences of their actions? She sighed. If there was anyone who knew about getting caught up in the heat of the moment, it was Claudia Joy, and she didn't want her daughter to go through the same things she had gone through all those years ago.

She sighed and stood up from her position on the stairs. Taking a deep breath, she headed into the living room, knowing that she had a phone call to make. Maybe Denise could give her some insight on the situation. After all, it would seem that Denise knew her boy better than anyone else. Maybe there would be some answers to the questions her mind had posed.

Claudia Joy dialed the familiar number, then placed the handset to her ear. It rang three times before Denise picked up. "Sherwood residence."

"Hey, Denise," said Claudia Joy, hoping her voice didn't falter or sound contrived. "How are you?"

"Hey, Claudia Joy," came the greeting from her longtime friend. "I guess I'm doing as good as can be expected, considering the circumstances."

"Is Frank still upset? How's he taking things?" queried Claudia Joy. From what Denise had shared with her, Frank was pretty angry at Jeremy's behavior while he was overseas, but not only about the abuse towards his mother. That, coupled with his decision not to go to West Point in the fall, had really driven a wedge between father and son.

There was a wry laugh from the other end. "Should we really even talk about how Frank is taking things?" There was a pause, then Denise added, "He's really upset with Jeremy, Claudia Joy. And for good reason... But I also think he's angry at me for hiding this whole thing from him. I just feel like I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place."

"I know how you feel," said Claudia Joy sympathetically. "That's how I feel right now with Amanda. Things have just gone from bad to worse, and I really don't know who to turn to for answers but you."

Denise was clearly confused. "Me? What's happened with Amanda?"

Claudia Joy bit her lip. She wondered how much her friend knew of the relationship between her son and Amanda. It had been a shock to Claudia Joy that the two had already become so physical, with only being together for such a short time after so much time had past. "Amanda stayed out all night last night." She stopped, then continued, "With Jeremy. Um, I have reason to believe that they just weren't talking all night, if you know what I mean."

There was silence for a moment before Denise spoke. Claudia Joy knew Denise was choosing her words carefully, just as she had been doing since she called. "I know." Her voice was calm. There was no surprise in her tone.

"You... you know? How much do you know?" asked Claudia Joy, taken aback. Had Denise been hiding the knowledge of the extent of Jeremy and Amanda's relationship from her?

"I know quite a bit," came Denise's response, pillowed by sighs. "Amanda took me to Jeremy last night and she confided some things in me. I guess she was kind of expecting things to take that turn last night."

Claudia Joy was sure her heart would thump out of her chest. How could Denise be so calm?

"Claudia Joy, I don't want you to be angry, because God knows I can't handle much more anger directed at me. I guess I'm just trying to work through this whole situation just like you are, just like Michael is, just like Frank is. I put myself in Amanda's shoes while we talked last night. I know how it is to be young and in love and feel like the whole world is against you. Jeremy is a good kid, he's just made some bad mistakes, and I really think he's trying to right his wrongs. He's especially trying to do right by Amanda. He loves her, I could see it in his eyes."

"He thinks he loves her," corrected Claudia Joy. "But Denise, he's so young, and she's so young. How can they know love?"

Denise laughed. "Just like we knew love when we met Michael and Frank. There's no age limit on love, I firmly believe that. You and Michael and Frank and I weren't much older than those two when we fell in love, and it looks like we all turned out all right. For the most part."

"It's just... this has been such a whirlwind for everybody involved," said Claudia Joy. "I mean, it was just a few weeks ago that Amanda was arrested and came home, and now all of a sudden she's sneaking in the house at eight o'clock in the morning after being out all night with a boy, and now she won't talk to me. Amanda has always been able to talk to me."

"I do know how you feel, about the whirlwind," replied Denise. "I'm just trying to take things as they are, though. If we let ourselves get all up in arms about the whole thing, it'll just push those two farther away from us than they already are."

"You're right, just like you always are," said Claudia Joy with a light laugh. "But look, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I still feel like Amanda and I really need to have a conversation about all this, but I'm going to try not to push her. Just - just let me know if she comes to you about anything, okay?"

There was a silence before a quick, "Okay," came back over the phone. "I'll talk to you later."

The two women hung up their phones, and for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, Claudia Joy let out a heavy sigh and sunk down into a chair.

* * *

A/N: I'm very much a fan of Army Wives and very much a fan of fanfiction, so it just seemed natural for me to take on the task of writing an Army Wives fanfiction. Jeremy & Amanda's relationship has intrigued me from the beginning, so I decided I put those two characters through it. Obviously, my take on the future of the couple may or may not be close to what happens on the show, but just take this for what it is. Hope you enjoyed it. :) 

I have limited time for writing, but I'll try to update as much as I can. Please leave a review if you would like to see more!


	2. Push Comes to Shove

**A Time to Embrace**  
"Push Comes to Shove"

Denise Sherwood's hand remained placed atop the phone even after she had hung up with Claudia Joy. A sharp pain shot through her forehead all of a sudden. The whole situation with Jeremy and Amanda was really beginning to get to her; it was one of the most stressful things she had ever had to deal with. Here she was, trying to convince Claudia Joy that Jeremy was deserving of a reprieve, while she didn't even believe it herself. It had been less than a month since the last time Jeremy had struck her. There had been longer periods of time during which Jeremy had more or less stayed away from Denise while Frank was deployed. Was she just making a fool out of herself, placing such trust in a man who hadn't proven himself trustworthy? Was she setting Amanda up for disaster? She didn't want to answer that question, because she knew that if the answer was yes, she was also setting herself up to lose a great friendship.

Making the call was difficult. She wanted to believe the best of her son, she really did, and she didn't want anyone to think poorly of him, either. They were working through what had happened between them, and for now, that was enough for Denise. However, no one else seemed to believe that Jeremy was genuine in his efforts. Was she just blinded by her motherly love?

Denise knew what it felt like to be young and in love, and she knew that Claudia Joy was not a stranger to that ecstasy, either. How could it be right to put a stop to something that could be that honest to goodness, true love that most people, throughout their whole lives, never find? One series of mistakes, and Jeremy was the black sheep on the army base. How was that fair to an eighteen year old boy? Denise was on her way to forgiving him, so why was it so impossible for everyone else to follow in her footsteps?

Denise had so many questions, but so few answers to go with them. She was sure Claudia Joy was just as confused as she was. For now, she felt that she had to give Jeremy the benefit of the doubt. He had spoken to her as his mother and as his friend about many things the night before, and she could just tell he was being completely honest when he spoke of his desire to do right by Amanda and to prove to her, to Frank, to Michael, and to Denise that he had seen the error of his ways and was ready to step up and be a man. His sincerity was so fierce.

She'd be damned if she would let anyone step in and take away the second chance her son was working so hard for

* * *

"Maybe we should just talk to her again, Michael." 

"We've done all the talking we can do, Claudia Joy, and it doesn't seem to be helping! We're going to have to take a more firm action against this... nip it in the bud before it gets to the point where it's unstoppable. Why are you afraid of taking some disciplinary action?"

"I'm afraid that if we do, she'll never forgive us!"

The muffled voices coming from her father's study made Amanda even angrier than she already was at her parents. The past few days at the Holden residence had found stolen, hushed conversations between Claudia Joy and Michael, curious looks at Amanda from Emmalin, and a general consensus that something was going to have to be done, though what was to be done and how could not be agreed upon. Amanda was determined to make the first move, and she had spent the majority of her plan in her bedroom, concocting various scenarios and coming up with an outcome to each one. After all, her parents were just as determined as she was, but to the opposite effect.

The door to Michael's study opened and he emerged, a scowl on his face, followed by a frazzled looking Claudia Joy. Amanda jumped back to her previous position on the couch, her book in hand, from her eavesdropping perch on the armchair. She tried her best to look innocent as her father spoke.

"Amanda, your mother and I need to have a word with you," came the gruff voice of Colonel Holden. Sensing his daughter's lack of desire to talk, he added, "Now."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Don't you think we've done enough talking, Dad?" she asked, not caring that her disrespectful tone was sure to cause a flare up in the colonel's anger.

"Apparently it hasn't been enough, since you've insisted on going against what your mother and I have told you on more than one occasion," replied Michael as he crossed his arms and looked pointedly at Amanda. His eyes seemed to bore holes through her body as he stared.

"It's hard to just do what your parents tell you when they seem to be trying to ruin your life every chance they get," said Amanda, snapping her book closed. She hadn't really been paying attention to it, anyway. She looked up at her parents desperately. "For the first time in a long time, I'm truly happy. I can't understand why you and Mom want so badly to take that away from me!"

The expression on Claudia Joy's face became more pained with each word Amanda spoke. "Honey, it's not that we're trying to ruin your life, and you should know that! Your father and I have always wanted you to be happy; you know we aren't trying to do everything in our power to make you miserable."

"Ever since I got home, it's been 'you can't do this' and 'you can't do that', which was fine. I could deal with it at first," started Amanda, "until it became 'you can't spend time unsupervised with that Sherwood boy' and finally, 'you are forbidden to see Jeremy again'! But now that it seems as if you're both doing your damnedest to rip Jeremy and me apart, that's just not something I can sit by and let you do. I love him!"

"You don't love him, Amanda," said Michael. "You don't know his true colors. Has he told you that he hit his mother? Has he told you that he's been caught drinking on base? Has he told you of his continual disrespect, Amanda?"

Amanda's green eyes stared intently at her father. "He's told me everything. He's also told me how ashamed he is of his actions. And he's sorry for it all! We all make mistakes, no one's perfect, and it's not right for you and Mom to hold this against him. Jeremy will never hurt me."

Michael let out an exasperated chuckle. "You really have no idea what goes on in the mind of a man who is capable of hitting his mother. Someone who abuses a person close to him doesn't change overnight. Sometimes they never change at all."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" yelled Amanda. "Honestly, I go to Harvard, and you think I don't know that an abusive person doesn't change in just the twinkle of an eye? But something else I know is that a man who truly loves someone will do absolutely everything in his power to change, and that's exactly what Jeremy Sherwood is doing."

"That's such dangerous thinking, and that's all your father and I are trying to tell you," said Claudia Joy. "Jeremy's come clean with you, and that's great, but that doesn't mean he'll never hit his mother again, or that he'll never hit you. Enlisting in the army isn't going to solve his problems. It may just create more. What he really needs is to seek anger management counseling."

"Seems like it's a little too late for that, then, huh?"

"What is with this attitude, young lady?" demanded Claudia Joy, placing her hands on her hips. "You have been a completely different person since you came home! Your father and I simply want to protect you. We care about you, believe it or not, and we don't want you to make the same mistakes or go through the same heartbreaks we did when we were young."

Amanda opened her mouth to make a retort, but was cut off by Michael, "Which is exactly why your mother and I have reached this decision. Amanda, we feel that it's best for you, for Jeremy, and for everyone else involved if you spend the remainder of the summer off base. We'll contact your grandmother to see if you moving in with her next week will be acceptable."

For a moment, Amanda was in shock. Were her ears betraying her, or did she really hear her father correctly? They were sending her off base? "How dare you!" shrieked Amanda as soon as all her father's words processed in her mind. "I don't need your protection! I am so sick and tired of you treating me like I'm a child! I'm eighteen, in case you hadn't noticed, so as an adult I can make my own decisions, and one of those decisions is that I absolutely refuse to move off base!" Her anger was bubbling within her, driven by each of her father's words.

Michael stood firm. "Young lady, this is not an option, this is an order." His voice was cold and somewhat harsh to Amanda's ears.

For the smallest moment, Amanda's jaw went slack. She quickly regained her composure. "You may be able to order your soldiers around without aim, Colonel Holden, but I refuse to allow you to do that to me," came her quiet voice as she spoke slowly and meaningfully. There was no air of doubt as she faced her father, and Michael and Claudia Joy could tell that every word she said came with ferocity. Amanda was clearly making her stand. "This is my life. For once, I get to make the call. I refuse to allow you to take my happiness away from me." She turned to make her escape out the front door, but was stopped by her father's biting words.

"Well, then, as an adult, and as your own person, finding your own place may be best for you. I wouldn't want to confine you to a life of injustice under my roof."

Amanda froze in her footsteps just long enough to take in what her father was saying. A solitary tear cascaded down her cheek. She turned deaf ears on her mother's cries of surprise, and then, without thinking about where she would go or what she would do, her hand found its way to the doorknob on the front door, and she was gone.

The door slammed behind her, more or less sealing the deal.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it for chapter 2. Surprisingly, this came pretty quickly. It's a fair bit of dialogue, but I think it helps to drive the plot along. Let me know what you think! The next chapter will probably have a bit more beef to it. 


	3. A Friendship Forged

**A Time to Embrace**  
"A Friendship Forged"

For the first time ever, Amanda Holden felt completely, utterly, pathetically abandoned. As she sat in her car, parked on the street in front of a house she didn't recognize, she cradled her head in her hands. She had experienced many emotions from one end of the spectrum to the other during her lifetime, but the feeling of hopelessness that she had now was something she had never known. She didn't understand how her father could have made such a horrible decision, seemingly without caring. It was obvious that her mother had the same reaction; obviously her parents hadn't discussed what they would do about the situation past the confrontation with their daughter. Despite Michael and Claudia Joy's overwhelming anger at her, Amanda never would have imagined that she would be told to leave the place she called home for the entirety of her eighteen years of life, but here she was. Was Jeremy really worth all the strife and pain she was having to go through?

Amanda bit her lip. Yes, of course he was! How could she even allow herself to think that way? Was she the type of person who would tuck her tail and run, so to speak, at the first signs of trouble? A fresh wave of tears came now, harder and more relentlessly than before.

* * *

At the Holden residence, the tension in the air was so palpable it could have been cut with a knife. Claudia Joy had just watched her oldest daughter walk out of their house and possibly out of their lives - for good. She stood, dumbfounded, for a moment before turning to stare harshly at her husband. 

"I don't even know what to say to you right now, Michael," she said, the anger evident in her tone. "I don't know how you could do this! How could you simply turn your back on our daughter for something that she believes so strongly in?"

Michael returned Claudia Joy's cold look. When he spoke, his tone was indifferent. "Amanda has gone her whole life getting exactly what she wants without any substantial consequences. I think we're all past that, and now she's going to have to learn the hard way."

Claudia Joy could hardly believe her ears. "Michael, how could you essentially disown our daughter? How could you want her to have to go through more than what is necessary, just to learn a lesson? Is her relationship with Jeremy really so abhorrent that you would resort to kicking her out of our house, the only place she's ever called home?" she demanded fervently, the fire in her eyes igniting with each word she spoke.

Michael was silent for a long while, then he spoke slowly and without regret. "It's obvious where Amanda gets it from. Claudia Joy, I will not have you second guessing me. You will either openly support me in my decisions or privately disagree with them, but you will not undermine my authority as head of this household by disrespecting me." With that, he made his way back to his study, shutting the door behind him, leaving a furious Claudia Joy to fume.

* * *

Roxy LeBlanc had been curiously watching the silver Honda Civic that was sitting in front of her house for the past half hour. She didn't think there was any threat involved, so she had been going about her household tasks as normal, pausing to glance out the window every few minutes. The driver appeared to be a teenage girl, obviously distraught about something, and as Roxy's nature to be a bit of a mother hen kicked in, she debated on whether or not she should approach the vehicle. She didn't know the girl, though she looked awfully familiar, so she was worried that she would come across as rude, or as a busybody, which she most certainly wasn't, if she walked up to the car uninvited and out of the blue. 

"Roxy, what are you staring at?" Trevor LeBlanc, Roxy's husband, asked as he passed through the living room. His wife was focused intently on something she could see through the window in the front door, but at first glance, Trevor didn't notice anything worth seeing. Roxy was silent, so Trevor tried again. "Rox?"

She started, almost throwing the Fisher Price dump truck she had in her hands. "Oh, what did you say, Trevor?" she asked, finally noticing that she wasn't alone in the room.

He laughed. "I was just wondering what outside was so fascinating, since you've been staring at it for the past five minutes."

Roxy shrugged. "There's just this car outside," she replied, motioning towards the Honda. "That girl looks so upset, and she is so familiar to me, but I just can't place her face." She bit her lip in thought. Could it be one of the girls she'd seen in the park one day, while she was playing with Finn and TJ?

Trevor laughed again. "You sure are a case, Rox," he said in answer to Roxy's questioning glance. "You can remember the most unremarkable people on base, but you can't remember Colonel Holden's daughter? Ya know, the one who was arrested for protesting the war?" he added, seeing Roxy's blank look.

A lightbulb flickered on in Roxy's head as realization dawned upon her. She snapped her fingers. "That's where I've seen her before, duh!" she exclaimed, wanting to smack herself. "Wonder why she looks so upset?"

Trevor leaned in, as if he were sharing confidential information. "Well, word around base has it that the Holden girl and Major Sherwood's son are an item, and her parents disapprove. Strongly," he whispered, then continued, "Apparently they've been forbidden to see each other, but you know how that goes. Very Romeo and Juliet-esque, if you ask me."

Roxy rolled her eyes at her husband's antics. "You sound positively like any old gossiping army wife on this base!" she exclaimed, trying to sound annoyed. The laughter in her eyes told Trevor differently, however. "Think I should go talk to her?"

It was Trevor's turn to shrug. "It's up to you, babe, but it does look like she needs somebody to lean on if I do say so myself." He wrapped his arms around Roxy's small waist. "Something I love very much about my wife is that even if she's thought to be butting into somebody's life, she does it anyway because she wants to help." Trevor kissed Roxy sweetly on the mouth. "You have a heart of gold."

Roxy smiled as she leaned into Trevor's warm embrace. "Mmm," she murmured, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again. "A girl could get used to this, but before this girl gets too used to it, I think I'll go see if she needs anything..."

* * *

Amanda was fumbling for her keys in the ignition, intending on starting up her car and driving somewhere, thought she really wasn't sure where, when someone tapped on her window. She jumped a bit, unaware that anyone had been paying her attention while she had been sitting on the street. A young, pretty blonde was looking at her with concern in her eyes. Amanda wiped the remaining tears from her lashes as she reached to roll down her window. "I'm sorry, am I bothering you? That must be your house," said Amanda, noticing that the front door of the house she was parked in front of was open and a handsome young man, probably this woman's husband, was watching through the gap. "I didn't mean to block your car or anything, I was moving right away anyway. I'm so sorry!" 

The woman laughed and shook her head. "No, no, it's okay," she assured Amanda. "You're not bothering me at all. I just noticed that you've been out here for awhile and was wondering if you needed any help? Car broke down or something? You can use our phone if you need to."

Amanda couldn't help but smile up at the woman, whose cheer was infectious. "No, everything's fine, I was just getting ready to leave. But thanks so much for the offer," said Amanda, "Mrs..."

The woman laughed again, this time looking a bit sheepish. "I'm Roxy LeBlanc, and before you say it, it's Roxy, not Mrs. LeBlanc." She offered her hand. "You're Claudia Joy Holden's daughter, aren't you?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" asked Amanda as she stretched her hand to meet Roxy's. "Does my face glaringly state that I'm the bratty daughter of a colonel?" Suddenly, Amanda felt ashamed for carrying on like she had in public. What had made her think no one would be able to see her? At the very least, she had thought that no one would have cared enough to check on her. Apparently she had been wrong.

"Of course not," replied Roxy with a short laugh. "You just look a lot like Claudia Joy."

Amanda nodded. "Oh, okay..." She stopped, wondering if Roxy was going to say anything else. "Well, I guess I better be going..." She again reached for her keys in the ignition, but Roxy's voice stopped her again.

"Would you like to come inside for awhile? You're really in no shape to drive, sweetie. You look absolutely exhausted."

Amanda hesitated.

"Oh, come on, I don't bite, and my husband and kids only bite when they're hungry, which luckily for you, dinner's just about to be served, so they couldn't be too ravenous." She winked.

Amanda had to laugh. With a small smile up at Roxy, she nodded her head. What else did she have to do? Where else did she have to go? "Sure, thanks. If you promise I won't be intruding."

Roxy beamed as she reached a hand toward the car door, swinging it open for the younger girl. "No, sweetie, it's hard to intrude when you're being invited. The way my family sees it, the more the merrier. Unless your name's Marda," said Roxy, who, at Amanda's cocked eyebrow, added, "Marda's my mother, and it's her who does the intruding around here."

Amanda thought there was something more to the story, but didn't dare ask Roxy as she followed her into her house.

* * *

A/N: I missed the newest episode of Army Wives last night due to work, so I had to get my fix in somehow until tonight's encore. This time it's in the form of a new chapter. :) I can't remember if Roxy & Amanda have had any close encounters in any previous episodes, but we'll say for the sake of this story that they haven't. 

I'll be working in more of the Amanda/Jeremy relationship in the next couple of chapters, if not THE next chapter. Right now it's just a lot of set up & explanations... kind of forming some support for Amanda & what's going to happen next in her life, considering that Jeremy's away for at least a few more weeks.

Please review!


	4. Decisions

A/N: I changed the title of this story from No Take Backs to A Time to Embrace. I feel like the new title better reflects the plot of the story (& I like it better!). I just thought I'd note this to avoid any confusion. :) 

**A Time to Embrace**  
"Decisions"

There was something about Roxy LeBlanc that made Amanda like her almost instantly. She was enthusiastic, willing to offer a listening ear, and most of all, sympathetic. Amanda needed some sympathy in her life after it seemed like the entire world was against her, and Roxy was able to provide just that. Plus, her husband was incredibly kind, and Amanda was sure that their two kids could light up even the darkest of rooms with their smiles. As she had watched the family's interaction, Amanda couldn't help but wonder if she and Jeremy would ever have such happiness, if they ever were to get married. Right now, it seemed as if the odds were stacked against them in that regard, but Amanda wasn't one to give up so easily.

Amanda took one last bite of the pizza the LeBlancs had ordered in for dinner before leaning back in her chair. "You guys really know how to order a pizza," she said with a laugh, thankful for the food. She had been starving, having only eaten a small breakfast of cereal that morning before the big blow up with her parents.

Roxy grinned. "Ordering pizza is one of my specialties, right Trevor?" asked Roxy, nudging the man with her elbow.

"Oh yeah," agreed Trevor. "If it weren't for Roxy's pizza ordering skills, this family might just go hungry considering her cooking skills aren't quite up to par." There was a devilish gleam in his eyes that made Amanda giggle as Roxy huffed in indignation before slapping Trevor on the arm. He feigned injury, but Roxy just laughed and rolled her eyes.

"You," said Roxy, eying Trevor, "are insufferable."

Amanda smiled again as Roxy and Trevor bantered playfully. She loved how laid back and casual the couple were, a welcome change to parents' usually more high strung, strict attitudes.

"Amanda, you have to excuse my husband," started Roxy, standing up from the table and reaching for the empty plates. "He's suddenly reverted back to his childhood." Trevor started to extend his lip in a pout, but Roxy cut him off with a kiss before sending him to check on the boys, who were playing outside.

Amanda followed Roxy to the kitchen sink, carrying glasses. "Here, let me do the dishes since you were so kind to offer dinner to me," she said, then added, "I insist!"

"If you insist," replied Roxy, raising her hands and backing away. "I'm not going to argue with someone who insists on doing my dishes. God knows that doesn't happen often!"

Amanda filled the sink with water, adding a little dish washing liquid as it filled. She picked up the dish cloth and began to clean the surfaces of the plates, then rinsed under a stream of fresh water before placing each dish in the drainer. "It's the least I can do, Roxy," said Amanda assuringly. "I really appreciate you showing that you care, especially after the hard day I've had with my parents."

Roxy's kind eyes focused imploringly on Amanda for a moment. She looked as if she were debating something, but then finally let out a sigh. "Alright, this may come off as being extremely nosy and forward, but I just want to help," she said.

Amanda averted her eyes from Roxy, focusing her attentions on the few remaining dishes in the sink. She knew what was coming, but she wasn't sure she was ready to tell the whole story. How did Amanda know that Jeremy even felt like this was worth fighting for anymore? Since he'd left for basic training, she hadn't received any letters from him, and she probably wouldn't for awhile if her parents had anything to do with it. He may have completely changed his mind about her. Had they really even had time to create a stable relationship before he left? Maybe this had just been a summer fling. Maybe she'd been trying to find something that wasn't there, and then she would look like the fool to her parents, to Roxy, to everyone involved in the situation.

Noticing Amanda's hesitation, Roxy added, "You don't have to tell me anything. You're under absolutely no obligation to confide anything in me, but I was just wondering the circumstances of this whole situation with your parents. I know something's happened, but I don't know what."

"I don't know if you'd understand," said Amanda, rinsing the last plate.

Roxy laughed. "Trust me, Amanda, if there's anyone who understands strife with parents, it's me. My mom has been in and out of my life constantly since I was born. Most of the time she only pops back in when it benefits her. I don't think anything you can say about your parents can top what I could say about mine."

Roxy's words relaxed Amanda at the same time they made her feel a little selfish. Roxy obviously had her own problems to deal with without adding in Amanda's. Nevertheless, the two women made their way into the living room, and Amanda began to talk about her parents' disapproval of Jeremy, how Jeremy had enlisted in the army, how her parents had more or less kicked her out of the house and disowned her because she refused to agree with what they were demanding of her - the whole tearful story spilled out before Amanda even realized what she was saying.

Roxy listened intently, rubbing Amanda on the back at just the right times and hugging her with one arm whenever Amanda began to cry. When she was finished, Roxy wrapped the younger girl in a tight embrace and held her until her tears subsided.

"I know your mama, and I know a little bit about her that she probably would never want you to know," said Roxy, finally easing the hug, "but let me tell you, I really don't think this is how she would have wanted this situation to turn out, regardless of how determined you are to be with Jeremy. Claudia Joy just doesn't strike me as the type of woman to kick her daughter out of the house."

Amanda nodded, wiping a tear from beneath her lashes. "No," she agreed, "I think it was more of a thing my dad came up with in the heat of the moment. We were all pretty hot in there, and my dad especially says things without meaning them when he gets angry. And believe me, I don't think I've ever seen Dad as angry as he was back there."

"It doesn't excuse him, but I think you're right about him saying things without meaning them," said Roxy. "Amanda, I really think you should go back to your parents' house and talk - rationally - with them. Arguing and yelling doesn't get anybody anywhere."

Amanda's shoulders slumped as she sat heavily back into the chair she had been sitting on. She glanced at her fingers for a moment, suddenly feeling sick. It could have been the pizza digesting, or it could have been Roxy's suggestion of facing her parents. How could Amanda face them again?

"I will, but - but can I stay here for the night?"

"Sure," said Roxy, "but only if you promise me that you will go talk to them first thing in the morning."

Amanda didn't dare to bring her eyes up to meet Roxy's until she felt Roxy nudging her head upward. "Promise?"

Her voice was shaky as she let out a quiet, "Yes," breathlessly.

* * *

Colonel Michael Holden's blood was still boiling, a day after his encounter with his daughter and his encounter with his wife. He had slept in one of the guest bedrooms the night before, refusing to be close enough to Claudia Joy for her to make him feel even more guilty over his quick decision of telling Amanda she needed to find her own place. Truth be told, the more he thought about things, and the more he replayed the scene over in his mind, the more he regretted allowing his temper to take over his rational thought process, which he normally prided himself on. But now he was really no better than the pair of impulsive teenagers he was trying to punish. Suddenly, he felt very angry at himself for being angry at everybody else.

Michael glanced down at his desk, where a small stack of letters sat. There were three envelopes, all of which were addressed in the same small print - Jeremy's, no doubt - to Amanda. Jeremy had been gone to basic training for just a couple of weeks now, so he had obviously written the letters the first chance he got. Michael was torn on whether to give the letters to Amanda or not. Wouldn't it just be encouraging something that he disapproved if he were to give them to her? Would she take it as permission to carry on with their relationship?

Of course, if Amanda didn't come back home, he wouldn't have to make a decision about the letters.

He missed her, though. The Holden home had been unusually quiet for the last twenty-four hours, and Michael would most likely have done absolutely anything in his power to get Amanda back and to mend their broken relationship.

Giving her the letters was a small price to pay to get his family back to normal. It seemed as if his decision had been made.

* * *

When Amanda woke the next morning, she was quite the opposite of bright eyed and bushy tailed. Her head ached and her stomach was churning. She rolled over onto her side as she opened her eyes, taking in her unfamiliar surroundings. It took her a moment to reorient herself, but when she did, everything that had been going on in the last few days came rushing back to her mind. She groaned.

"Well, good morning, sunshine," came a chipper voice from a few feet away. "Thought you were never going to rejoin us here in the land of the living." There was laughter in the tone.

"I feel like a truck has run me over," said Amanda, finally looking up to see Roxy, who was picking up some toys a few feet away. "Is this what emotional exhaustion feels like?"

"Sure is, sister," said Roxy, as she walked over to the couch where Amanda had slept and sat down by her feet. "We didn't want to wake you since you've got another big, emotional day ahead of you."

"Don't remind me," said Amanda as she groaned again. "I don't even want to think about how my dad is going to react. He may just kick me out again, who knows?"

"I really doubt that, Amanda," replied Roxy, sounding very calm and sure of herself. "I think your dad is probably just as ready to make up as you are, especially if your mom got ahold of him."

"I hope so," said Amanda. She sat up on the couch. "I am just dreading this. It's played out in my head a million times, and it's turned out awfully every time." All the scenarios had even plagued Amanda's dreams during the night.

"Sweetie, don't over think things, okay? That's where you're going wrong," advised Roxy. "Anytime you spend more time thinking things through than actually doing something, it'll turn out badly. There's only so much planning that can be done before it all goes to pieces."

Amanda studied Roxy for a minute. "I totally wish I had your attitude. Then I don't think anyone would cross me."

Roxy shook her head as she put an arm around Amanda. "What I've been through in my life has turned me into a hardened bitch most of the time. Don't ever wish you were like me," she said. "Truthfully, I wish I were like you." There was a silence for a few moments before Roxy continued, "But look, girlie, I think it's time you get our day started. If you don't go to talk to your dad now, you'll probably come up with every reason not to do it until tomorrow."

"Ugh, how do you know me so well after just a day of knowing each other?" asked Amanda laughingly.

Grinning, Roxy replied, "I'm just that good. Now scoot!" She sent Amanda off to the bathroom with a light shove.

* * *

A/N: Some more set-up, but the main idea of the plot IS coming around pretty quickly. I don't want to rush into the story, but I don't want to dawdle with it, either. In the next few chapters, we'll see some shocking truths revealed for Amanda & Jeremy, more reactions from the people closest to them, & we'll also see Jeremy & Amanda reuniting after their separation, plus a lot more!

I want to thank everyone for the reviews you've left me so far. They have really given me a reason to write! I love to hear feedback as I think it helps me to improve, so a special thanks goes out to the following:

OCfan28, blindfaith, Lissette, conchetta, & DemonessLeader

Also, thanks to those who have read & added this story to your alerts lists, as well as those who have read without reviewing.


	5. Heart to Heart

**A Time to Embrace**  
"Heart to Heart"

Facing her parents again was one of the most difficult things Amanda had ever had to do. Roxy had sent her off with some advice and strict orders that Amanda and her parents had to be on speaking terms by the next time Roxy saw her, which Amanda had agreed to despite not being entirely sure that would be possible. She was fairly certain that her mother would be easy to forgive and forget, but it was obvious that Michael was more likely to hold a grudge - as evidenced by Jeremy's situation with him. Amanda took a deep breath as she approached the Holden house, hoping and praying that things would turn out as well as Roxy had predicted. When she reached the door, she paused for a moment, unsure of whether she should go inside without knocking or ringing the doorbell; technically, she didn't live there anymore, after all.

Amanda didn't have to make the decision. No sooner than Amanda had stepped up to within arm's reach of the door, it swung open to reveal a wide eyed Claudia Joy, who immediately grabbed ahold of her daughter and squeezed her tightly in a hug. Amanda, mouth open, wasn't sure how to react, so she simply left her arms dangling at her side as Claudia Joy's tears dripped from her eyes onto Amanda's mane of dark hair.

"Oh, Amanda, I'm so glad you're home," said Claudia Joy, finally holding her daughter at arm's length. "It feels like you've been gone forever, the house just hasn't been the same without you here."

Amanda had never seen her mother in a state of so little composure. Claudia Joy was the poster child for put together, confident army wives, so seeing her in such a disarray was rather disconcerting for the girl.

"Where did you stay last night?" asked Claudia Joy, worry evident in her voice and her eyes. "I was beside myself all night, hoping that you had found some place to stay."

Amanda nodded. "Somehow I ended up at Roxy LeBlanc's house, and she and her husband invited me to stay the night there," explained Amanda, shifting from foot to foot. "Um, Mom, could I come inside? I really need to use the bathroom..."

Claudia Joy immediately stepped out of the doorway. "Of course, Amanda, you don't even have to ask, so don't think you do," she said quickly. "This is your home still."

Amanda smiled at that. "Thanks, Mom," she said before making her way up the stairs and down the familiar hallway to the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door. She pulled a washcloth out of the cabinet and turned the faucet on, wetting the washcloth, then putting a small dollop of soap on and lathering it up. Before she brought the washcloth up to wash her face, Amanda studied her appearance in the mirror; she looked rough, to say the least. Her eyes, which had bags beneath them, were swollen and bloodshot. Mascara was smeared beneath her lashline, giving her the look of a raccoon. Her hair was all over the place, partially up in a messy ponytail and partially down around her shoulders. No wonder her mother had been worried about where she had stayed the night before. She looked as if she had slept in a ditch somewhere.

The cool washcloth felt good against her skin, and the lavender scented soap calmed her nerves. She knew what was coming once she went back downstairs: more talks with her parents. Considering the most recent track record, Amanda wasn't looking forward to it, worried what this conversation might bring about. Nevertheless, wanting to get the worst part over with, Amanda quickly finished washing her face, taking care to remove her eye make up, and then combed her hair into a neater ponytail before unlocking the door and going back downstairs. As she expected, she found both parents waiting for her.

Amanda wasn't sure what to say to her dad, who was looking at her with confusion in his eyes. Apparently he didn't know what to say to her, either. What could be said by a father to his daughter when just the day before, he had kicked her out of the house? It was certainly awkward for both of them, perhaps more so for Michael than Amanda.

There was a long silence before both Amanda and Michael blurted out, "I'm sorry."

Amanda stopped, surprised that her father had apologized so quickly. He wasn't normally one to apologize to someone, even if he had done something wrong towards them, feeling that it made him appear weak. Amanda, on the other hand, was usually fairly quick to admit her faults, a trait she had inherited from Claudia Joy.

Michael continued in a soft voice, "Amanda, I was wrong to say the things I said to you yesterday. I could write it off to it being so hard for me to watch you grow up in front of my very eyes, to go from needing your daddy to wanting another man in just a short amount of time, but it's not only that. My temper clearly got the better of me, and in allowing that to happen, I'm no better than Jeremy Sherwood is for hitting his mother. If you're willing to give me a second chance, then... then I'm willing to give Jeremy a second chance."

The smile spread across Amanda's features before she could contain it. "Dad - do you mean that?" asked Amanda, barely believing her ears. She never would have thought that her father, with this stubborn nature, would agree to allowing Amanda to continue seeing Jeremy. It was like she had stepped into the house of a completely different family.

"Yes, Amanda, I mean that," said Michael.

Claudia Joy spoke up, "But there are going to be some ground rules."

"Anything!"

"First," started Claudia Joy, "you are only allowed to see each other with our permission and our supervision, until Jeremy is able to earn our trust. Considering what's happened with Denise, your father and I feel that supervised meetings with Jeremy are best for both of you until we're sure he won't act on his aggressions anymore."

Amanda's eyes darted between her mother and her father, wondering how much Claudia Joy had told Michael about the physicality of Amanda's relationship with Jeremy. Surely Michael wouldn't be agreeing to this arrangement if he had an inkling of an idea that they'd had sex. Claudia Joy apparently noted the question in Amanda's eyes, and with a quickly mouthed, "No," Amanda's fears were calmed. Michael didn't know, and he wouldn't have to know.

"Second," added Michael, "you also have to receive permission from Denise and Frank. Just because you two seeing each other is acceptable to us doesn't mean that Jeremy's parents will feel the same way."

Amanda nodded, feeling fairly certain that Jeremy's parents, Denise especially, wouldn't have any problem with the arrangement.

"And that's all."

Amanda, for once, was more than happy to follow her parents' rules. She hugged them both, then started to head towards her room, but was stopped by Michael.

"One more thing." Amanda turned back to see her father rifling through his desk drawer. He pulled out what looked like a few envelopes and, pausing only briefly, handed them to Amanda. "They're from Jeremy."

Tears sprung to Amanda's eyes as she ran them across the small, recognizable print. He had written to her? He had really been thinking about her as much as she had been thinking about him? "Thanks again, so much," she said earnestly, gripping the letters tightly as she gave her parents another smile and left the room.

* * *

_19 July 2007_

_Dear Amanda,_

_Here is my mailing address:_

_Private Jeremy Sherwood  
A-Company, 1-50th Infantry  
Infantry Training Brigade  
9420 Treadwell Drive  
Fort Benning, Georgia 31905-5919_

_Sorry this is such a brief letter, but I just wanted to get this information to you ASAP._

_Love,  
Jeremy_

_P.S. Thinking of you always._

* * *

_20 July 2007_

_Dear Amanda,_

_So I've made it through Reception Battalion, which basically means that I've done a lot of paperwork and been poked and prodded at beyond belief. I think I had to get something like 9 or 10 shots - it was really ridiculous! None of them were too awful or painful. Except the penicillin shot, which was BY FAR the worst shot I've ever had in my life. And no, I'm really not just being a baby about it. Most of the other guys agree whole heartedly with me._

_I have already met a lot of great guys (who are all jealous that I have such a beautiful girlfriend. And yes, I've bragged.). We're all from such different walks of life, ya know? I mean, here I am, just graduated from high school, but then the guy I talked to most the first couple days at Reception is a middle aged man with a wife and kids. Then there's the educated folks - some who went to Harvard, or Stanford, or any other Ivy League college that you really wouldn't expect to be an Infantryman._

_Oh yeah, you won't believe this hair cut!!_

_I think I've made the right decision, Amanda. For once in my life. But it's not just the right decision for me, but for you. I hope that I'm able to make my parents proud, but most of all, I hope I'm able to make you proud._

_Write back soon._

_Love,  
Jeremy_

_P.S. What I wouldn't give to kiss your sweet lips._

* * *

_20 July 2007_

_Dear Amanda,_

_This is going to be another brief note, like the first, but I wanted to let you know when graduation is. The ceremony will take place 19 October at 1000. There will be a Family Day the day before. I really want you to come to both... if your parents will allow it._

_I am counting down the days until I see you again. I miss you!_

_Please write soon._

_Love,  
Jeremy_

* * *

As soon as Amanda's eyes snapped open, she had to rush to the bathroom. For the past few days, Amanda had been feeling sick to her stomach, sending her on a mad dash to the bathroom each morning. She remembered that slow churning feeling she had felt in her stomach the morning after she slept at Roxy's, so she must have eaten something at Roxy's or right before she went to Roxy's that didn't agree with her. Regardless, she definitely didn't want to eat it again. Though she hadn't actually thrown up yet during any of the bouts of sickness, holding her head over the toilet bowl while was enough to drive Amanda crazy. 

Claudia Joy had been watching Amanda closely each morning, her worry increasing each day that Amanda awoke feeling nauseous. The question that had been flitting about in Claudia Joy's mind for weeks now was again at the forefront. She had spent the past few days arguing internally with herself about whether or not she should talk to Amanda about what she had been thinking.

Behind the bathroom's closed door, Amanda wretched, and Claudia Joy flinched. Yes, she would bring up her worries with her daughter, no matter how awkward and embarrassing it may be for the both of them. She stood from her position on her bed and slowly walked down the hallway, stopping in front of the bathroom door. She lightly rapped twice, and after a call of "Just a minute!", Amanda opened the door. She was wiping her mouth with a damp washcloth.

"How are you feeling?" asked Claudia Joy, concerned.

Amanda groaned. "Terrible!" she exclaimed, tossing the washcloth over the towel bar to dry. She massaged her temples. "As if puking isn't enough, I have a splitting headache this morning."

Claudia Joy felt her eyebrows rise, practically into her hairline. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, sweetie," she started cautiously, hoping that Amanda wouldn't catch onto Claudia Joy's scheme too quickly. This was probably the last thing Amanda wanted to discuss with her mother, but Claudia Joy felt it had to be done.

It was Amanda's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Oh? Okay, well, shoot," she said, sounding slightly confused.

"Why don't we go into your room," suggested Claudia Joy. "For a little privacy."

The panic stricken look on Amanda's face told Claudia Joy that Amanda had realized what she wanted to talk about. "Mom, is this going to be another sex talk?" she asked with a loud groan.

"Well... yes," admitted Claudia Joy, frowning. "And before you say anything to talk me out of it, I think it's really important that we sit down and talk about this. All our other sex talks have been different since you weren't sexually active then."

"Mom!" shrieked Amanda, looking around wildly. "Shh! Dad might hear you! He just now started to come around about Jeremy, I don't want to give him reason to not only forbid us to see each other, but to kill Jeremy, too!"

"Your dad's not here, Amanda," said Claudia Joy. "I wouldn't let him overhear us if he were. I think it's your responsibility to tell your dad about how serious you and Jeremy have gotten, not mine, and I won't. So, can we go into your room for a few minutes?"

Slowly, Amanda nodded, feeling like she was going on a walk of shame as she turned and went into her bedroom with Claudia Joy close behind.

Once inside, Claudia Joy closed the door. She took a seat on Amanda's twin bed and motioned for Amanda to follow suit. "What exactly do you want to talk about?" asked Amanda, hoping that it wouldn't be anything too utterly embarrassing. Having her mom know that she wasn't a virgin anymore was embarrassing enough. Somehow Amanda knew that this sex talk was going to be much less bearable than the other, less graphic sex talks of the past had been.

"I just want you to know that this is just as awkward for me as it is for you," said Claudia Joy earnestly, "but I feel it's absolutely necessary, so that outweighs the awkwardness. I guess I should just come out and ask you what I have in mind rather than beating around the bush and drawing things out. Obviously you and Jeremy love each other, and you've expressed your love in a very intimate way, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. As much as I would have hoped that you would have been older before you took that step, what's done is done, and there's no sense in trying to tell you that you were wrong or what have you. But now that you've moved onto this step, you also have a lot more to consider and a lot more preventative actions that you have to take. Honey, did you and Jeremy take any precautions when you slept together?"

Amanda felt the blood draining out of her face. It wasn't because of the question; it was because suddenly, for the first time, Amanda was thinking about the possible consequences of their actions. That night, while they were wrapped in each other's arms and completely lost in the moment of passion, precautions hadn't crossed Amanda's mind even once - and she doubted it had crossed Jeremy's mind, either. Had they taken some preventative measures? In a moment of rising fear, Amanda had to admit to herself that she didn't know. She didn't remember Jeremy pulling out a condom, she certainly hadn't had a condom, she wasn't on the pill, and Jeremy had finished inside of her.

"Amanda?" Claudia Joy's tone was filled with worry now.

Amanda jerked back to reality at the sound of her mother's voice. "Yes, Mom, of course we did!" she exclaimed, trying to sound sure of herself. "Do you think we're stupid or something? Jeremy used a condom, and I know that they're not 100 effective, but not having sex is the only 100 effective method of birth control. I think we've already gotten past that step." Was she convincing her mother? It seemed as if Claudia Joy's eyes were boring holes into Amanda's head, searching for answers. Finally she sighed.

"I trust that you're being honest with me," said Claudia Joy, not sounding positive of her own words. "Then that brings us to my next question. Was this encounter with Jeremy a one time thing, or do you think there's a chance it will happen again? If there's any possibility of there being a second time, then I want you to see a gynecologist and consider starting birth control pills."

Amanda noticed her mother's cheeks reddening with that question. Not knowing what to say, Amanda again shrieked, "Mom!"

"This is something we have to talk about!" insisted Claudia Joy. "If you're going to be acting like an adult and having sex, you're going to act like an adult to prevent pregnancy, too."

With a sigh, Amanda mumbled quietly, "I guess it could happen again." She could not believe she was telling her mother, of all people, that she and Jeremy would continue to have sex! She was completely mortified.

"Well then, do you want me to make the appointment, or do you want to do it?"

Another mumbled answer came, "You, I guess. But only if it's off post! I would absolutely die if I ran into someone you or I know."

Claudia Joy agreed, "Okay, off post. I would much rather have you go off post than not at all. I'll call right now."

Amanda watched her mother leave the room, then lay back on her bed, wondering how red her cheeks had gotten during that conversation.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is a lot longer than the others have been; there was a lot I needed to include! Hopefully you all enjoyed the extra long chapter. 

I've spent the last little while attempting to outline the rest of this story so I could have more of a direction as far as the plot goes. I've outlined up to chapter 10 so far, & I'm really liking the way it seems to be going. Just thought I'd mention it.

Thanks again to those who are reviewing. It really makes me want to keep writing this story, seeing that people actually do like it. Keep reading & reviewing!


	6. Signs and Symptoms

** A Time to Embrace**  
"Signs and Symptoms"

_August 11, 2007_

_Dear Jeremy,_

_I can't believe you've been gone for a month now! I truly can't wait to see you again...just a couple more months now. Life on post isn't anywhere near the same with you gone, although I have to be honest and say that I think my parents are kind of relieved that they aren't going to have to deal with the reality of us seeing each other until October._

_Some good news is that Dad still doesn't know that you and I have been intimate. Mom has made it clear that she won't tell, that she thinks it's my responsibility to tell him, but there's no way I can go up to my dad and be like, Jeremy and I had sex and I'm getting on the pill just in case we decide to keep having sex. I can see his reaction now...not pleasant at all! Most unpleasant for you, though, because I'm sure he would have some kind of violent reaction against you. Most likely he would kill you with his bare hands._

_But anyway, things have been bearable, but not much more than that. Mom is constantly nagging me about one thing or another, and Dad - well, Dad isn't really speaking to me unless it's to ask to pass the salt at dinner. Emmalin is trying to be sympathetic, but she doesn't really understand where I'm coming from. I've been trying to find every excuse to get out of the house. I've been spending a lot of time with Roxy, who is like an angel to me. And I've been over to your parents' house quite a few times, as well. Jeremy, you really don't know how cool your mom is. She's so calm about the whole thing, and totally accepting of us. The time spent with her is like a breath of fresh air._

_I can't wait to get your next letter, and hopefully you'll be able to call one of these days. Hearing your voice would be simply indescribable!_

_Love,_

_Amanda_

_XOXO_

* * *

_13 August 2007_

_Dear Amanda,_

_I miss you more than you'll ever know! I'm sure the next couple months will fly by, but it's still so hard to look at the calendar and know we're still so far away from seeing each other. Most of the other guys I spend most of my time with don't have girlfriends or wives back home, so they don't really know what it's like to be separated, but there's this one guy whose wife is pregnant with their first baby. They got married and he enlisted because she found out she was pregnant. He's just a couple years older than me, but it seems like he's really got his head on straight, and he loves his wife. He says they didn't get married just because she got pregnant, but that just sped things along. He probably won't get to be home for his baby's birth, she's apparently due in early October, before graduation._

_The situation with your parents sucks. I hate to hear that things still aren't exactly going great with them, but maybe they'll start dealing with things more efficiently soon. The few conversations I had with your father before I left were hostile, to say the least. I don't think he's too enthused with the idea of me and you being together. I know I've made mistakes, and a lot of terrible ones, at that, but I think I'm as deserving as anyone else of a second chance, but he doesn't seem to want to give me that. Maybe I can prove to him how much I love you, and maybe that will change things. My only regret about everything going on right now is that it has affected your relationship with your parents negatively and consequently has caused you pain and hurt. I would never want that for you, Amanda._

_I'm so glad that you've found a friend on post. I have to say that I've met Roxy before, probably not under the best of circumstances. She seems like a really caring person - a little fierce, but really caring._

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Love,_

_Jeremy_

* * *

In an aisle in the library, Amanda nervously looked over her shoulder as she perused the rows and rows of books, trying to find something that was similar to what she had come for. She ran a finger along the spines of the books, mumbling as she did so. "Week by Week, Drugs, Couples, Over 35, Nutrition." Her finger stopped as she finally found what she needed. She pulled the thick book off the shelf and felt her cheeks warming when she saw the title in huge print on the front cover. SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY: ARE YOU, OR AREN'T YOU? Amanda quickly reached for the nearest unrelated book she could find, something about house training pets, and practically ran out of the aisle. If anyone saw her here, getting that book... well, rumors traveled fast on post. It wouldn't be long before everyone, including her parents, would know what she herself worried was true. 

Amanda walked briskly to the front counter and slammed the books down, then reached into her purse to find her library card, jerking it out of its spot in her wallet. The librarian, an older lady with gentle features and kind eyes, acknowledged Amanda with a smile. She took the card from Amanda's outreached hand and scanned the barcode on the back before returning it. "Oh, looks like someone has had a birthday since the last time they used their library privileges," said the woman sweetly. "Time for a renewal!"

As the librarian tapped on the keys of her computer, Amanda grew more and more uncomfortable. Click, click, click. "Address the same, dear?" Swift nod. Click, click, click. Another girl waiting to check out approached the librarian at the next computer, and Amanda found herself trying to hide the spine of the book, which proudly displayed the title. Click, click, click. "And phone number the same, as well?" Another nod as another customer got into the line forming behind Amanda. "Okay, we're all set!" chirped the woman, reaching for the books.

Amanda watched in mortification as the librarian seemed to deliberately hold up the offending book for all those close enough to see. It could have been her imagination, but Amanda thought she heard whispers behind her; she didn't dare turn her head to investigate. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Amanda had gathered both books in her arms and was rushing out the door, nearly colliding with a young mother and her toddler.

The clock in Amanda's car told her she had been in the library for just ten minutes, though it had seemed like so much longer. She knew her face was probably beet red, and she knew that anyone who had been watching her probably thought she was crazy, but she didn't care. She had gone off post to get the book she needed in hopes of saving herself some embarrassment, but she wasn't sure how much that helped. She was still a nervous wreck.

Amanda made it to her destination in record time. Roxy was in the yard playing with her boys when Amanda pulled her car onto the side of the street, directly in front of Roxy's house. As Amanda climbed out of her car, both books clutched tightly against her chest, the older woman came bouncing over, a huge smile on her face.

"Amanda! I wasn't expecting you today," said Roxy, but then added, "It's a great surprise to see you. I could use some back up with the little men."

Amanda could see the boys, both dressed in swimming trunks and playing rambunctiously, over Roxy's shoulder. There was an inflatable swimming pool filled halfway set up in the middle of the yard, with a garden hose running from the side of the house, across the yard, and in a circle around the pool. Both boys wore floats on their arms and goggles over their eyes. When they noticed Amanda, they changed directions, running toward her instead of the pool. Finn wrapped himself around Amanda's legs while T.J. went for her waist, laughing the entire time. Amanda smiled and hugged both boys in return.

Roxy, laughing, feigned anger at her kids. "Now, boys, what have I told you about attacking our guests? Am I going to have to put out that 'Beware of Kids' sign we were talking about?" she asked as she swatted each of them on the bottom.

"No, Mom," they chorused as they giggled uproariously. "Sorry, Amanda!" With another swat from Roxy, they ran back to the pool, sliding in the mud created by the water spilling over onto the lawn.

After seeing that the boys were safe and happy, Roxy turned back to Amanda, an inquisitive look in her eyes. "So, what brings you to my neck of the woods, sister?" she asked, the grin never leaving her face.

Amanda cleared her throat, wondering how to start. "Um, do you think we could go inside? I wanted to talk to you about something important, and it's kinda private," she said.

Roxy's eyebrows raised as she watched Amanda carefully for a moment before responding. "Oh, sure, honey." She focused her attentions on Finn and T.J. for a moment. "Boys, Amanda and I are going inside for a few minutes, you better behave yourselves! We can see you from the window, don't forget," she called, receiving a couple of exclaimed, "OK!"s in reply. "Come on, we can get some lemonade. Fresh as of this morning."

Once they were settled in Roxy's living room with two tall glasses of lemonade on the coffee table, Amanda handed Roxy the books, hoping that she would understand without Amanda having to explain with too many details. She hadn't even allowed her suspicions to sink in fully for herself, so she wasn't positive she could put it all effectively into words.

"Housebreaking 101," read Roxy. "Is this a hint that I need to housebreak my kids?" She snorted as Amanda immediately began to shake her head.

"No, the other book!"

Roxy grinned as she shuffled the books, placing the training book beneath the other. "Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy..." To Amanda, it seemed as if all the color drained from Roxy's face as her voice trailed off. Roxy looked up at Amanda with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. "Amanda, oh my God! You don't think...? You're not...? Oh my God! Are you?"

"Well, that's what the book is for," said Amanda dryly, trying desperately to contain her tears. In a whisper, she confirmed Roxy's thoughts. "I think I might be."

* * *

"Oh my God," said Roxy again, moving closer to Amanda on the couch. She hugged her tightly. "Honey, have you looked at the book? Seen what symptoms you have?" 

Amanda shook her head, obviously unable to speak.

"Have you had any nausea? Tender breasts? A missed period?" Roxy rattled off the earliest pregnancy symptoms she knew.

Amanda nodded miserably. "Yes, yes, and yes. Nausea isn't just in the mornings, it's basically every hour of every day, and more intense when I'm around strong smells, pleasant or unpleasant. My boobs are so sore that even the softest touch is just about killer. And my last period was in the first part of July," she explained. Her voice was shaky, and Roxy could easily tell she was both nervous and terrified. She knew what the younger girl was going through, the number of emotions that were most probably running through her mind at that point in time. When Roxy herself had found out she was pregnant with T.J. when she was just a little younger than Amanda, she was absolutely devastated. She had no support system; her boyfriend at the time was a jerk and although he accepted responsibility for the baby, things quickly turned sour between them. Her mother... well, her mother was around at times, but past that...

"Oh, honey," said Roxy, at a loss for words for once in her life. Now on the other side of the issue, Roxy wasn't sure what to say. "Have you taken a home pregnancy test, or seen a doctor yet?"

"No," said Amanda, "but my mom made an appointment for me to see a gynecologist on the twentieth. I haven't told her that I think I could be pregnant, but I think she has her own suspicions, or at least is concerned about it happening at some point in the future, because she brought it up about me going to get on birth control pills. When I go, I'll just tell the doctor that I might be pregnant and get tested. Mom won't have to know until she absolutely has to know."

"Well, that's a good start," replied Roxy. "That's more than I had when I got pregnant with T.J. I was kind of lost, and Marda wasn't much help, either." She smiled encouragingly and placed a comforting hand on Amanda's arm. "Look, no matter what happens, you know I'll be here for you. I've gone through it. I know how hard it can be to deal with not only the pregnancy, but also having other people judging you and trying to make your decisions. Since there's still a few days until your appointment, have you considered getting a home pregnancy test? They're not always completely accurate, but at least it could give you some peace of mind."

"I'm scare about telling my mom," whispered Amanda. She drew her knees up to her chest and leaned into Roxy.

Roxy pursed her lips before replying, "I know how nerve wracking it is, honey, but you've really got to come clean to your parents. Both of them. Things have been rocky between you all lately, and now that they're just starting to get better, you don't want to ruin that by losing their trust."

"Things are better with Mom, not so much with Dad, remember," replied Amanda, wiping at her eyes. "I'm so scared that Dad will get even angrier at me if I am pregnant, and that he and Mom will forbid me from seeing Jeremy again after finally agreeing we could be together. I... I really don't want to say anything until I'm sure."

"That's understandable," commented Roxy. "Just make sure they find out from you."

* * *

A/N: This chapter took longer to come out due to several life factors that I couldn't avoid. The next chapter might also be delayed, due to my husband & I going out of town for a couple of days, followed by a few double shifts I have to pull at work directly after we get home. Also, I start nursing school near the end of this month, so time to write will definitely be tight then, but hopefully I'll be able to at least get out a chapter every week. 


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